Getting un stuck in a rut

I’ve felt stuck in a rut for several months, even before Berta left for Portland (more on that).  Same thing everyday.  Feels like the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day; wake up, coffee, cat, computer, eat, eat, eat, goodnight.  It’s been extremely hard to get excited about anything with my best friend dying, no job, and generally feeling like I lost my identity.  But I’m finally working on getting un-stuck.

I wrote about the local wildlife last month and am still seeing them around.  Cottontail bunny shows up about an hour before sunset.  Hung a second hummingbird feeder that I can see from the door.  While out watering I saw a coyote climb out of the wash to the opposite side.

Sierra caught a lizard and brought it into the house.  Then of course she lost it because she really just wants to play with them. Oh boy, now we have another new roommate. It’s tail broke off and was laying on the floor with just a little movement before I threw it away. Hope the poor thing isn’t looking for that and thank goodness they grow back.  About an hour later Sierra re-caught the poor tailless lizard but wouldn’t take it outside.  So, I trapped it with my handy dandy glass and cardboard and managed to spare its life.  Ants, scorpions, spiders, flies, and cockroaches. I would so rather be in my own house on wheels.

I’ve taken a lot of sunset and moonrise shots this past winter from the yard and just down the street in Yarnell.  For something different I drove part way down SR89, the Yarnell Hill, to a turn-around near the original overlook to the valley below.  According to a local friend, the cement slab I walked across used to be a tourist shop for the view, snacks and such.  Another piece of Yarnell history.

From here I enjoyed a colorful sunset.  And according to PhotoPills the full moon would rise behind a couple of towers on Rich Hill.  Sadly, the app needed recalibration so instead it was vegetation on the ridge-line in front of the moon.  But at least I was un-stuck from my usual shooting location, for that night.

My 4th of July excitement included the glow by blacklight of a ½” scorpion hiding in a crack by the AC unit.  I sprayed it with the Terro scorpion killer.  The next morning in the kitchen I killed two more cockroaches on the floor, and a ¼” scorpion in the sink.  The later death by hot coffee.  This is getting very old.  Later, I took the Terro scorpion spray outside and sprayed cracks along the house where I killed another ¼”er.

That night, after a colorful sunset, I started sleeping in my bug and scorpion free camper.  Too difficult to move Sierra, she’s doesn’t like to picked up, so she sleeps in the house for now and greets me at the door in the morning when I come in to start coffee, computer and fresh cat food and water.  Slept good and am un-stuck from the creepy bed.

I made the mistake of stepping on the scale and weigh in at 148 pounds.  I’ve never weighed that much in my life.  No wonder my clothes don’t fit.  Between quitting smoking a year ago and inactivity the pounds just stuck around.  I’m not happy about this, so…

Time to start walking.  I forgot how nice and peaceful it is in the Weaver Mountains outside my door.

The only tracks I saw on the dry hard-packed dirt road belonged to deer, javelina, coyote or dog.  Felt like no person had passed in a while.  I made noise occasionally so not to startle anyone.

I wandered to a place I’d never been before because I saw a windmill, and it had a cow skull hanging on it.  How weird.  This area I walk in is behind a gate.  Lots of 4-9 acres are plotted out but there’s no utilities and no one living out here.  However it did look like someone at least tried where the windmill is along with some rusty wrecks and a small uninhabited building.  Sadly, 7:30 is already too late to go walking with our summer temperatures in the 90s.  Not sure I’m ready to be out any earlier, yet.

Finally rain is coming into the country.  Friday afternoon wind driven clouds brought a cool caress, thunder, lightning, a refreshing aroma, and maybe three drops of rain.  This followed by a clear day with a few teaser clouds at sunset.

Sunday afternoon the storm returned and I drove north to shoot it.  Never got out of the car because it came down hard with very high winds. Turned around in only three miles at Peeples Valley then parked for a while at the Yarnell Dollar Store lot and watched the storm approach.  The wind and rain came hard and quick only lasting about 30 minutes.

After dark began a gentler rain pushed by wind with thunder and lightning. I felt the rumbles throughout my body. Cool breezes wafted through the open windows. The fresh smell opened my mind. Light shows in the three directions I could see.  Right then, glad for a dry place to be and not have to drive anywhere because I could get stuck in the mud.  Hope no fires start.

The biggest rut I’m currently stuck in is not traveling.  Four months of going nowhere is just not like me.  That’s the next thing I need to work on.

Update on Berta:  Since saying goodbye as she boarded the airport shuttle May 15th, life for Berta is slip sliding away.  At first she still felt good although sleeping more and even thought about returning to Arizona.  We all knew that wouldn’t happen.  A month passed with little change.  Hospice visits four days a week for about an hour to help out Berta’s daughter.  But that’s not enough, she needs more help and is exhausted mentally and physically.  Berta and I spoke briefly towards the end of June, mostly to reassure each other of our love.  She’s still here physically but doesn’t know what is going on around her.  We all pray she will soon leave this world peacefully.

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