Sometimes it takes leaving the familiar, moving, and moving on with life.
My dearest friend, I call her soul sister, she is part of my tribe, chosen family. I’ve known this amazing womyn for 15 years. We have mentored each other throughout. Neither mother, sister, or daughter by blood but all three we have been to each other. Almost three months since being diagnosed with incurable brain cancer she still gifts us all with her presence. Yet it becomes more difficult every day. No pain. Just sleeping a lot. Increased difficulty with motor skills and memory when tired.
Last week I had to do one of the hardest things in my life. We hugged, we cried, and we said goodbye as she boarded the shuttle to the airport. Yet there was relief and the knowledge that family will spend time together. We will continue to chat and text. Her blood family lives in Portland, Oregon.
lousy selfie with Berta 6-14-17
Even though I have spent 12 winters living in Yarnell, Arizona I never really socialized much. I do love the landscape, climate, and small sized community. Yet I really came here because of Berta. And through her I’ve met just a few special people in town. A few weeks ago I attended a local talk about the geology of the boulders in Yarnell. They are granitic plutons that look much like those in Joshua Tree National Park and the Alabama Hills in California. I went as a stranger, not even thinking anyone would know me yet had to talk to several people about Berta.
The inevitable Southwest spring winds were rocking the camper and fortunately keeping the temperature down to 80°F so I didn’t need the AC to survive. Mostly I sat at the computer for the last several months brainlessly following social media while labeling over 22,000 photos so far this year. I’ve actually completed 2017.
Berta at NOAH’s thrift store Prescott AZ
Berta and I first met at a fleamarket over a beautiful vaz I was trying to sell and I asked her to look it up for me online to determine it’s value. Turned into a $12 vase. We’ve liked each other ever since. There will be more stories.
I returned from the shuttle feeling drained and exhausted. Sierra (my new cat), sat on my lap keeping me in Berta’s chair for almost two hours. I needed that. She might have too. Berta encouraged me to make her place home.
one big room, no curve, ~55 x 15 feet with a bathroom added on (crappy phone panorama)
I stayed in my camper that first night then spent most of the next day making the house livable for me. Although not packing everything Berta I did move a few things to make room for a cardtable-desk where I can see out the door and windows. Paid for that later with very sore shoulders and back. I love to look at Berta’s eclectic collection and like every piece even though it is not the way I would decorate.
Part of me wants a vacation, yet I don’t want to go anywhere at all. Nor can I really afford to. But it does sound appealing to catnap Sierra and take a little journey. Find out if my new owner likes to travel. She does like to go outside and knows her local neighborhood.
I still don’t have a job but at least I have a place to live (three places really) and food in the fridge. For a gypsy like me it seems unusual not to be rolling down the highway. Instead I have to start moving on with life. Yarnell is a perfect place to be, at least for a while.
Pardon me, it’s time to feed the birds and water the flowers.
Oh Gaelyn we do feel so sad for you and wish we were a little closer to give you a hug, but our thoughts are with you. 2018 so far has not been the best of years for you but hopefully, it will improve. Just take care and take one day at a time. Warm hugs from us both, Diane and Nigel
Thanks Diane. I feel those hugs across the pond.
Gaelyn, words falter us; tears. Your sad, beautiful, from-the-heart post today resonates with everyone. We are grieving with you, for so many losses. Hugs!
Thanks.
So sorry about Berta, saying goodbye would be such a hard thing to do. Knowing somebody that long is harder than family.
I am looking forward to your next steps. It will come to you what to do.
Take care!!
Thanks Yogi. It is harder than saying goodbye to family. I am open to job suggestions.
Have you considered camp hosting as a way to follow comfortable temperatures and supplement income?
I have definitely considered camp hosting Mary.
Hello, Gaelyn, — It is really wonderful what you have done with your compassionate and caring nature, in looking after Berta.
Thanks George. I didn’t think I had it in me.
I’ve always thought it was easier to be the one leaving on a new adventure than the one behind in familiar surroundings. No doubt Berta is missing you too, but has family with her …. you have a house whose every corner says Berta. But despite the distance you are still friends.
It is lovely and sad to be here.
How lovely for Berta to have this time with her blood family. I know how much it has meant to her, having her soul family with her for this time. I’m sure Sierra will have you trained in no time. No need to go anywhere or do anything different until the mood strikes. Sending you big hugs while the desert keeps you.
Sierra is definitely teaching me Her ways. Not sure summer is a good time to travel anyway. Thanks for the hugs.
So glad you have a place to be and a loving new owner as you make your way in this new world of Beta in Oregon. You’ve been such a good friend.
Life is very different right now.
Ah Gaelyn we all have to say good bye one way or another. She will be hopefully happy for her final days with the “other” family. I know you were close. Memories wrap around the heart
MB
I will carry the memories forever.
I am overwhelmed at the life transitions you are being asked to weather. None of it easy, much of it incredibly difficult. Still, little bright spots here and there hopefully will help your through. Flowers on the saguaro, possibly Sierra is with you learning to travel. Our kitty was a perfect dash ornament that usually fooled most gas station attendants till he moved his head. Having a home base, in Yarnell, as you weather the work shifts is probably a true blessing, and having you there I am sure is a blessing for Berta. Keep on keepin on and I’ll be thinking of you.
Been feeling more than a little overwhelmed lately and am now almost shutting down to recover. Felt so good to get out and photograph the saguaros flowering. I need more nature. And what a bonus to come ‘home’ to a loving kitty. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts.
My goodness, Gaelyn, you are going through some very difficult transitions. I am so sorry to learn about Berta’s declining health. Hopefully, you and Sierra can move forward together. Hugs to you, my friend.
Thanks for the hugs. Berta is still doing OK and Sierra and I are learning from each other. Hope you’re having fun at the beach.